Here is a simple example, think of a kid going to a candy store, the child is so excited knowing they will be going to the store there mind is focused on the present the future the now. The child is full of expectation knowing that when he gets to the store just the knowing of how much candy and chocolates they will be able to choose from , but with so many things to choose from he won’t know what to pick from until he gets there and that feeling right there, is positive expectation. It is a feeling that puts us in the now and present of not knowing what will happen in the near future but that what ever happens is going to be a great experience that will benefit us, weather positive or negative. For even if we face a negative experience, if we are in that frame of mind we are able to turn it into something positive because we expect it to happen in the first place.

Believe me, it is a great place to be if we can train our minds to think this way, there is no better feeling than being in the “now” because we tend to let our past wrongs dominate our future and present. I’m sure you know the saying that goes “…if you think you can’t, your probably right.” So that means we must focus on changing the way we think and the way we look at life in order to move forward otherwise our thoughts will control what we do.

So practice thinking with the expectation that something awesome is going to happen and if you do , it will.

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Specifically, you might have issues with responsibility and forgiveness.  The law of attraction cannot work unless we accept that everything in our life is a creature of our own creation.  By accepting responsibility and forgiving those who may have wronged us, we release the law of attraction to manifest positive results in our life.

Read further to learn how you can begin to release abundance in your life through responsibility and forgiveness.

You Are Responsible (And That’s A Good Thing)

The law of attraction states that we are all responsible for everything that enters into our lives whether it is good or bad.

Too often, practitioners mistakenly blame others for their circumstances in life.  Even if those circumstances are accurate, it makes no sense to blame others if you wish to live a life of conscious creation.  The two points of view are diametrically opposed to each other.  Either you are responsible for your circumstances (and you can change them) or someone else is (and you are powerless).

Decide right now that you are responsible (ie have dominion over) your life as it exists right now.  Refuse to be a victim and recount your victimhood.  The ability to achieve this state of dominion is aided by the process of forgiveness.

Forgiveness Benefits You, Not The Other Guy

The best way to escape the mindset of victimhood is to engage in the process of forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not let the wrongdoer “off the hook.”  Forgiveness literally means to give up a claim to or obligation of requital.  In spiritual terms, it means to release a person or circumstance of any responsibility for your happiness.  Essentially, it is a positive statement that reaffirms your dominion over your own life.

By forgiving, you are not necessarily saying that it was okay to harm you.

You are affirming that you have the power to control your destiny by removing any excuse for your lack of success or happiness to this point.

How To Release Blame And Forgive

I encourage you to search your consciousness to find the areas in your life that are dominated by victimhood.

Perhaps you were abused or suffer from a chronic illness.  Perhaps you are poor, the wrong color, the wrong religion, the wrong sex, etc.  Acknowledge those areas of blame without judging yourself.  While your feelings are important, they do not define who you are.  Secondly, forgive.  In your mind’s eye, see those who have wronged you.  Say to them “I release you of responsibility for my happiness and success.”

That’s it.

Move forward by being mindful of any victim thoughts or tendency to blame.  When you encounter them, simply remind yourself that you have dominion over your circumstances and nothing else has that right any longer.  Over time, you will learn to control your thoughts.

Reclaim Your Power To Change Your Life

Now that you understand the relationship between blame and your happiness, you also understand the importance of acknowledging these thoughts and extinguishing them through forgiveness.

Specifically, victimhood leads to perpetual bondage and the inability to consciously create the life you deserve.  Instead, reclaim your dominion over your life and circumstances by forgiving those persons and circumstances that you feel are responsible for the state of your existence.

By doing so, you will reclaim the power over your own life and free yourself to use the law of attraction to manifest the desires of your heart.

Related posts:

1. Beyond The Law Of Attraction: Higher Consciousness And Self Fulfillment
2. Gratitude Journal Affirmations: Twenty Positive Affirmations For Increasing Abundance
3. Understanding and Applying The Law Of Attraction (Part 1)

In my own experience, the two factors were both present in my life and combined to form overwhelming symptoms of depression coupled with panic attacks and other anxiety symptoms.  I overcame both anxiety and depression.

You can too.

Let’s take a minute to talk about the causes, symptoms and treatment techniques for stress and anxiety.  I will also share my philosophy for overcoming depression.

The Origins Of My Anxiety Depression

My anxiety and depression had their origins in a toxic combination of low self esteem, the need to be perfect and a fear of making mistakes.

My grandfather was a perfectionist.

He entered the army in World War II at the age of 17 and within two years of battlefield promotions, he was a sergeant leading a company of men into combat.  He was a teenager leading other teenagers into battle.  The consequences of a mistake were deadly.  If he made a mistakes, men died, and it was all this teenager’s fault (whether it really was or not).

As a result, there was only one way to do any job….and that was the “right way.”  Failure was evidence of a mistake and mistakes were to be punished verbally and sometimes physically.  I still remember that seven year old boy, wrapped in a life jacket and heavy coat, being verbally abused by his grandfather while fishing because the little boy had the audacity to cast his bait and become hung on a stump.

As a result, I learned that mistakes were bad and were to be avoided.  In additions, any problem could and should be solved by simply working harder.  If I failed it was because I was stupid, lazy or inadequate.

After all, real men were never wrong, never made mistakes and always managed to get the job done perfectly….every time.  As a result of my conditioning, I developed a ridiculous limiting beliefs, consistent negative self talk, low self esteem and fear of failure.

I was a walking, talking depression and anxiety factory.

My Spiral Into Anxiety and Depression

At first, my core beliefs served me well.

I graduated with honors from high school, college and law school.  I secured a great job as an attorney and married my high school sweetheart.  I had a good job and a corner office in a downtown Houston law firm.

I was held in high regard by my family, friends and colleagues.

Then it happened…..I began to fail.

In the highly competitive world of a trial lawyer, it is obvious to everyone when you lose.  So, in an effort to keep from losing, I avoided the inevitable conflict associated with my job.  When I could not longer avoid the conflict, I simply changed jobs.

Each attempt to avoid conflict increased my anxiety.  Each attempt to avoid conflict lowered my self esteem.  Real man weren’t afraid to fight.  Real men did not fail.

In the ultimate effort to avoid the inevitable conflict of the courtroom, I became an entrepreneur and real estate investor.  As I purchased more and more real estate while I practiced law, I became more and more burned out, tired and depressed.

The solution was obvious, I needed to quit being lazy and simply work harder.

Finally, in 2006, I simply had too much to do.  I collapsed under all of the stress and burnout.  I began having anxiety attacks and developed hypertension.  My Crohn’s Disease flared and left me physically ill and debilitated.

I could not go on.

I failed and there was no way to avoid facing it.  As I faced my perceived inadequacy, I sunk into a debilitating clinical depression.  I had all of the classic depression symptoms:  feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy and low self esteem.

I wanted out.  I wanted to run away.

I contemplated everything from abandoning my spouse and job to staging my death to suicide.

Finding My Way From Darkness To Light

The symptoms of depression anxiety have their origins in a feeling of low self worth, hopelessness and lack of control.  In essence, my anxiety depression developed out of the belief that I was stupid, worthless and weak and there was not a thing I could do about it.  I needed a paradigm shift in order to return to stop the anxiety attacks and return to my path.  In 2006, serendipity intervened and I received the help I needed in overcoming depression.

In 2006, a friend mentioned that he had heard of a new movie, called The Secret.  He did not know what it was about, but heard that it was a good movie to help people get out of their rut.

Interestingly, to this day, my friend has never seen the movie.

But, this movie has changed my life.

As a result of seeing the movie, The Secret, I had a paradigm shift.  The philosophy underlying the law of attraction addressed all of the self defeating thoughts and limiting beliefs I had been taught throughout my life.

I am divine.  I am a child of God with all of his power at my disposal.  I can consciously create my own reality and do not have to take from others in order to have my own abundance.  As such, I cannot be worthless.  I am a powerful and important bit of divine consciousness.

I have control.  I am responsible for my own circumstances and create them as a result of my beliefs.  My self talk and attitude (good or bad) creates my reality.

I have hope.  Because I am a child of God, I am divine.  I can control my beliefs and improve my circumstances.  God loves me as a father loves his child.  God does not punish me.  I punish myself with my own negative, self defeating thoughts.

Indeed, if I am in the prison of depression and anxiety, it is constructed of bars made of my own self defeating, limiting beliefs.  As I learned to apply the law of attraction, I began to see small changes in my life.  I built upon each small success and manifested larger helpings of abundance in my life.

Happiness Is A Journey, Not A Destination

Even now, I still struggle with limiting beliefs and self defeating behavior.  Right now, as I write this article, I am struggling with procrastination and feelings of being overwhelmed.  However, instead of spiraling into a state of anxiety and depression, I am working slowly and deliberately with the knowledge that everything will be okay.

I know that throughout my life, I will continue to face obstacles to my bliss, but this is the nature of things.

A lump of coal becomes a diamond by intense pressure.  I bar of steel becomes a razor sharp sword by countless heating, hammering and folding.  I piece of pottery is shaped first by the pressure of the potter’s fingers and then is hardened in an oven of fire.

It is by overcoming obstacles that we strengthen our faith in our divine nature.  As we gain faith in ourselves and He who created us, we become more powerful.  As we become more powerful, we recognize and realize the complete nature of our true divinity as children of God.

I have often heard that “life is a game.”  More and more, I am realizing that this statement is true.  Games consist of overcoming obstacles and tasting the flavor of victory.

But, games are supposed to be fun.

I have come to believe that the purpose of life is to give us an arena in which we can develop our skills of conscious creation.  It is an arena where we can experiment, test and break through the boundaries of our own divinity.

We are meant to chase the light.

As we learn to use our God breathed divinity to overcome the obstacles of life, we become more peaceful, serene and more able to reflect the countenance of god, in whose image we were created.

BOILERPLATE LAWYER CRAP: This article is about my bout with depression and anxiety.  My experience might have been different than your experience.  All I can relate is how I resolved my anxiety and depression.   I am a doctor, but not a medical doctor.  As such, if you are suffering from symptoms of anxiety and depression, do not suffer in silence.  Get help from a qualified and trusted spiritual, medical or mental health advisor.  Help is out there and there is a solution to your suffering.  This article is about a solution, but it is not the only solution.

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2. Anxiety treatment: What To Expect From Anxiety Therapy
3. Panic Attacks? Anxiety Help Is Available

88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life | Raptitude.com.

My favorite one of all was:

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.  It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

If we could learn to deny ourselves a little comfort once and a while, we’d all be skinny, rich and (probably) happy.

Seriously, take a look at David’s article.  It was enjoyable and thought provoking

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Pain is a much more effective motivator than pleasure.  If pain is associated with a particular action (whether real or imagined) then procrastination is the likely result.  Because pleasure is perceived to occur sometime in the future and pain is here and now, self sabotage and self defeating behavior occur even where taking action will ultimately lead to much greater pleasure, self esteem and self satisfaction.

The Key To Self Discipline Is To Use Biology As A “Force Multiplier”

We also learned that an effective way to build self discipline and overcome self sabotage and self defeating behavior is to focus on, and increase, the pain associated with procrastination while, at the same time, focusing (and increasing) the pleasure associated with taking decisive action now.  In order to effectively use this technique, it is important to learn how you recognize pain and pleasure. 

The purpose of this exercise is to learn is to learn what actions with which we associate pain and pleasure as well as why.  Once we learn what motivates us to act or procrastinate, we can work on redirecting those emotions so that we associate pain with procrastination and pleasure with immediate, positive and decisive action. 

For example, in my own life I had the following empowering and disempowering associations:

• Doing Well In School.  I was motivated to do well in school because I enjoyed the praise and affirmation received from parents, teachers and peers.  In contrast, I associated the pain of disapproval from my parents with not doing well in school.  As such, I excelled academically even though it required massive study effort on my part.
•  Inability To Say “No”.  I was motivated to avoid conflict and agree with my parents, friends and co-workers even when it was against my interest.  At an early age, I was the repeated victim of bullies in my neighborhood.  I walked home from school each day in fear of getting beat up, picked on, ridiculed, or robbed.  By becoming agreeable, I avoided the pain associated with resistance and gained the pleasure associated with the “security” of having the bullies in the neighborhood as my “friends.”

I have incorporated these tendencies into my pain/pleasure analysis.  When faced with a task that I seem to not be able to get done, I consciously begin to associate completion of the task with the pleasure associated with the appreciation and thanks I will get from those concerned.  In contrast, I focus on the pain associated with having to say “No” when these people come to me and ask whether or not the task is complete.  As I have used this tool over the years, I have utilized my pain/pleasure to motivate me to act, not procrastinate.

Exercise:  Inventory Your Empowering and Self Defeating Emotions

Now, you are going to identify those emotions, fears and beliefs that you associate with pain and pleasure.  In doing so, you will identify patterns of behavior which you can manipulate to associate pleasure with positive, decisive action and pain with procrastination, self sabotage or self defeating behavior.

Take a piece of paper and identify three (3) times in the past where you took positive proactive action or negative self defeating action.  Next to each instance, identify why you were motivated to take that action (either pain or pleasure).  Here are three examples:

• Doing Well In School.  I was motivated by the pleasure associated with receiving the approval of my parents and teachers.  I also received physical rewards for doing well in school.  I was also motivated by the pain associated with my parents’ criticism and punishment.
• Generosity.  I was motivated by the pleasure associated with the gratitude expressed by those that I helped.  I was also motivated by the pain associated with the guilt of having more than someone else.
• Failure to compete or take risks.  I was motivated by the fear of pain associated with losing.  I perceived that I would be ridiculed, embarrassed, or thought of as weak or incompetent if I competed and failed.  I was also motivated by the perceived pleasure associated with letting the other guy win.  I felt responsible for the creating the happiness of the winner.

Once you identify the behavior and the pain or pleasure associated with action or inaction, you can take steps to reinforce the pain/pleasure where it benefits you and reverse the effects where it leads to self sabotage and self defeating behavior.

If you take the time to perform this exercise whenever you are faced with a challenge, you will be one step closer to building the level of self confidence you desire while limiting the effects of self sabotage and self defeating behavior.

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