How To Eliminate Self Sabotage And Self Defeating Behavior
Posted on | April 29, 2009 | No Comments
Having trouble eliminating self defeating behavior? Do you engage in self sabotage or consistently lack self discipline?
By making a few minor adjustments to your attitudes, you can put an end to self sabotage and self defeating behavior and have the self discipline to follow through with your goals and achieve your life purpose.
Self Defeating Behaivor Is Biological
We are all biological creatures. As such, at our basest level, we are driven to avoid pain and seek pleasure. As humans, we add the element of psychological “pain” to our menu. The problem with psychological pain is that it may be based upon perception and not reality.
Of these two drives, the desire to avoid pain is much greater
How Do Pain and Pleasure Contribute To Self Sabotage, Self Defeating Behavior and Lack of Self Discipline?
Self sabotage, self defeating behavior and lack of self discipline are caused by focusing unrealistically on the pain associated with the action rather than the pleasure or reward to be gained.
An Example Of Self Sabotage
For instance, you may decide that you want to build a house. Initially, the pleasure associated with having a new house is a great motivator. However, as you begin to examine the details (hiring an architect, purchasing land, getting permits, etc), the pain associated with building the new house becomes greater and greater and the pleasure seems more distant and less attractive.
In fact, you are experiencing pain and anxiety now and, as such, they are your primary motivators. Even as you make progress, you begin to find excuses not to move further. Finally, you abandon the project altogether.
An Example of Procrastination And Lack Of Self Discipline
Let’s look at procrastination. If you analyze the cause of procrastination, you will find that there is something about the activity that you perceive will cause physical or psychological pain if you perform the task. Because pain is the primary motivator, it is more real than the perceived pleasure associated with accomplishing the task.
Even if the pain and pleasure perception are equal, you will still procrastinate because performing the task is perceived to be more painful than simply doing nothing.
With many tasks, as you procrastinate, the more pain of NOT performing the task becomes greater and greater. When the pain of procrastinating exceeds the pain of performance, you will finally perform the task.
You Eliminate Self Defeating Behavior, Self Sabotage and Build Self Discipline By Changing Your Focus
The key to achieving self discipline and eliminating self sabotage, self defeating behavior and procrastination is to analyze the pain and pleasure you associate with the activity or change in behavior that you seek to accomplish.
Anthony Robbins teaches that whatever you focus on, even if imagined, is real to you. Therefore, you have to change the pain avoidance/pleasure seeking wiring in your brain so that it works for you instead of against you.
How do you do that?
Change your focus to associate pain with NOT performing the activity and associate pleasure with taking action. To do this, ask yourself the following two questions:
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How is not changing this behavior going to cause me pain? Write down your answers.
- How is taking action going to bring me pleasure? Write down your answers.
You can multiple the power of this method by intentionally adding more pain to inaction and more pleasure to action. For instance, if your goal is to lose twenty pounds by Labor Day, you might add decide that you are going to wear a Speedo to the beach
The Power of Decision: The Key To Eliminating Self Sabotage, Self Defeating Behavior and Lack of Self Discipline
When you learn to change your focus to associate pain with procrastination and pleasure with taking action, you use your biological wiring as a “force multiplier.” Now instead of having the power of pain work against you, pain becomes your sword and action becomes your shield. So, the next time that you find yourself paralyzed by inaction, ask yourself the magic questions:
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What pain will I cause by my inaction?
- What pleasure will I achieve by taking action now?
When you seriously answer these questions, you are on your way to eliminating self sabotage, self defeating behavior and building a level of self discipline that will make you proud.
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Tags: procrastination > self defeating behavior > self discipline > self sabotage
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