Overcoming Procrastination: The Twin Sisters of Self Esteem And Fear of Failure (Part One)
Posted on | April 21, 2009 | No Comments
Having Trouble Overcoming Procrastination?
Procrastination is a silent saboteur that quietly sucks minutes, hours and days from our lives. We are left with excess stress, fatigue, depression and irritability.
I know this enemy quite well. It has stolen more productivity from me than any other bad habit.
What Is The Best Way To Defeat An Enemy?
Study him. Discover his weaknesses. Minimize your vulnerability to attack.
Let’s take a minute to analyze this enemy and perhaps, together, we can destroy or minimize its influence over our lives.
What Are The Causes Of Procrastination?
- Too Much To Do. If you are a self reliant individual, over time, you have become the “go to” guy for others. People call you multiple times per day asking favors. It feels good to be needed, doesn’t it? But, who are you? The Godfather? You now have your projects AND those of your friends and relatives. Once you are overwhelmed, it becomes difficult to prioritize. The end result is “analysis-paralysis.” Pick something and do it.
- Forgetting How To Say “NO.” If you do not learn this skill, you will become overwhelmed by others. Water flows to the lowest point. When you cannot say “no”, you become the basin for everyone else’s water and your priorities go unfulfilled Exercise your “no” muscle you will quickly find out who are your true friends; and, you will quickly learn who deserves your help and who is simply a “leach.” Learn to say “No.”
- Failure To Plan – The To Do List. We exacerbate the problem by failing to plan. When I begin my day without a clear “to do” list, I waste significantly more time than when I have two or three clear cut objectives for that day. When I cook, I do not hesitate to use a recipe. When I fly, I do not hesitate to generate a flight plan. When we begin our journey through our day, we should likewise generate a list of objectives.
- Failure to Prioritize – Chores v. Projects. A neatly typed “to do” list is of no use if you do not have a properly prioritized plan. To do this, you need to understand the distinction between “chores” and “projects”. A chore is something that continually needs to be done over and over to maintain a certain quality of life. In contrast, a project is an action, or series of actions, that, when completed, permanently improve your quality of life. Very often when you do not want to start an unpleasant project, you use chores as a veiled form of procrastination. Distinguish between chores and projects.
For example, when I was studying for the bar exam, I found that my apartment was the cleanest it had been during my three years of law school. In fact, the clothes were washed, the closets cleaned out, the pantries were full of food and the firearms were cleaned. But, the project – studying for the bar – had not begun.
- Failure To Work On Projects Daily. In order to properly prioritize, you need to create a master to do list that reflects all of the weekly chores as well as the projects that are also on my plate. Next to each project, you list the next task that you need to accomplish toward the completion of that project. When you plan each day’s to do list, you must be careful to include items from the chore list as well as the project list. This way,everything moves forward.
Perfectionism – The Twin Sisters of Low Self Esteem and Fear of Failure
More often than not, procrastination reflects a deeper, underlying emotional problem.
In fact, it might surprise you to find that many highly motivated Type “A” individuals suffer from low self esteem. Often, a person with low self esteem feels the need to accomplish every task with perfection.
This fear of failure leads many such persons to procrastinate until the last minute (if at all) before performing the task. The emotional payoff is that the person can excuse a sub-par result by claiming that he/she did not have enough time to complete the project.
I am a perfectionist.
I grew up with a substantial relationship with my grandfather, who was master sergeant during World War II. There was only one way to do anything and that was the “right” way. You did not dare get your bait hung up on a stump while fishing, even if you were only six years old.
I learned quickly that I had to be perfect to avoid his verbal abuse. When I felt that I could not be perfect, I simply avoided the project until someone else did it or time was so short that the consequences of not performing were worse than the potential for verbal criticism.
In Part Two, we will take a look at some tips and techniques you can use to trick yourself into moving forward and get some of those chores and projects done. So, don’t procrastinate. Check back here for Part Two.
Related posts:
- Overcoming Procrastination: The Twin Sisters of Self Esteem And Fear of Failure (Part Two)
- Need A Time Management System? Use These Tools For Effective Time Management
- Why You Need A Time Management System Now
Tags: Goal Setting > low self esteem > Procrastination > self defeating behavior > Self Sabotage > Time Management
