It is estimated that 50% of first marriages end in divorce, while 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Fortunately, a National Vital Statistics report for the year 2007-2008 showed a decrease in the divorce rate, now the lowest since 1970 with only 3.5 divorces per 1000 people.

Couples counseling could be the key to saving your marriage.

Couples Counseling Can Open Lines Of Communication

The two biggest issues causing marital breakdown are financial and sexual issues.

Often, a lack of honest communication is at the root. Communication requires people to put down their own agendas and listen to the needs, wants, and hurts of the other person without judgment or defense. Marriage counselling can help untangle the web of hurtful words, misunderstandings, and wounded hearts that often lead to divorce court.

Today, more people are heading to the counselor’s office than ever before.

Evaluating Marriage Therapists

Finding the right counseling services can take time and effort. Many wounded spouses don’t want to go into counseling.

They fear the counselor will side with the other partner or tell them that their selfishness is the cause. Most people are reluctant to be vulnerable with a spouse that has hurt them emotionally, verbally, or worse, physically.

Marriage counseling can actually be a safe place to verbalize the hurt and have a neutral third party pull the nuggets of truth from the carnage.

Seeking Counseling Is A sign Of Maturity-Not Failure

Relationship counseling is not a sign of failure.

It is a sign of courage.

It takes personal integrity to dig down to the well of the human spirit and wrestle with past hurts, grief, and fear and to lay them out on the table for others to see. But the result can bring powerful healing to partners who once loved each other enough to pledge their lives.

Couple’s therapy can get to the bottom of toxic shame, unhealthy fear, or addictions that keep people from true intimacy.

Some issues can be addressed in one or two sessions.  But, more often, A rule of thumb is that couples therapy requires two months for every year the behavior has been exhibited.

That means for a couple relating dysfunctionally for ten years, it could take more than a year and a half of counseling.

Marriage Counselors Should Address All Family Members

Sometimes the couple’s troubles have affected other family members, especially children. That’s where family counseling might help.

Symptoms of a couple’s issues affecting children and teenagers could be bedwetting, thumb-sucking, compulsive behaviors like hair-pulling or cutting, depression, or threats of harm to self or others.

Less obvious signs of distress might be stomach aches, headaches, unexplained crying, poor academic performance, or rebellion.

Consider Couples Counseling Early

If your relationship is failing, couples’ counseling could potentially save the marriage and prevent the downward spiral from affecting innocent family members.

Couples’ counseling should not be the last resort; it should be the first.

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These couples counselors are licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples and family systems.

What Are The Qualifications For A Couples Therapist?

Couples counseling is a recognized mental health field with graduate and post graduate programs.

Degree. A couples therapist will have one of three degrees: a master’s degree (2-3 years), a doctorate (3-5 years), or post-graduate clinical training programs (3-4 years).

Clinical Experience. After graduation, two years of supervised clinical experience is required before the therapist can be licensed or otherwise certified.  The prospective therapist must then take a state licensure examination or a standardized national exam.

Choosing A Marriage Counselor

Thanks to technology and the internet, we no longer rely on the phone book as our primary source to locate a therapist specializing in couples therapy.

If you do an internet search, you will find therapists in your area and many of these have their own websites.  Also, ask close friends and family for a recommendation.  Clergy and medical professionals are also good sources of referrals.

Once you search has been narrowed, it is time to begin making phone calls.  The therapist will likely have a brief phone consultation with you and answer questions you might have.

The phone consultation is a great way to determine if you and the prospective marriage counselor might work well together.

How Does Couples Therapy Work?

Couples therapists work toward a resolution of the long-term mental health of individuals and their families in the context of the family relationship.

Sick families create sick family members.

The goal of a couples counselor is to address dysfunction within the marriage and restore a mutually satisfying relationship.

Family therapy generally consists of a course of short term therapy.  The treatment lasts about 90-120 days with about 12 weekly sessions.  The treatment includes individual sessions with each spouse or member of the family unit as well as marital and family group therapy.

The therapist may use cognitive behavioral therapy or other forms of cognitive therapy to treat the couple and other family members if necessary.

The attractive quality of couple’s counseling lies in its brief, solution-focused treatment, its family-centered approach, and its demonstrated effectiveness.

Cost of Couple’s Counseling

Family and marriage counseling costs can vary widely from state to state and region to region..

Rates range from $75 to $200 per hour.  However, many therapist have sliding scales based upon income.  Many couples therapists accept insurance and others do not.

The average cost for marriage and family counseling is about $100 per session.

Online Therapy:  Is It A Viable Option?

Officially, the mental health community is still undecided with respect to online therapy.

The inability to meet with patients face to face raises important treatment and ethical concerns.  Online counseling is still in its infancy, so regulations for treatment are still not established.  Even those regulations that do exist, vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

However, at least one mental health organization has published ethical guidelines for online marriage therapy and e-counseling services.

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Surveys indicate that most clients of couples counselors rated their experience as good or excellent.  More importantly, a majority of clients reported an improvement in the relationship.

Couples therapy is an established, well-regulated, treatment option for couples in need of therapy.  A couples therapist engages the couple by following a recognized course of treatment in a clinical environment.

Rest assured, couple therapy is an effective means to heal the problem relationship.

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